Fighting inSANITY
by kalsemiko
Summary: They were all broken in some way, some more than others but they all needed to heal. To get away from their demons. But Allen can't get away from a demon that is living inside him: a noah. This was a new chance, this new world called 'Hogwarts.' Maybe...
1. Chapter 1

**_Ok this is probably going to be a little OC but I'm going to do my best. This is a -man crossover and my first one so be nice. This is going to be during the sixth book of harry potter and I'm not sure of what episode of D. Grey-man but bare (is that the right spelling or word? excuse my horrible grammar also) with me. I'm practically winging it. When I mention London or Britain in this chapter, it's in the old times not in Harry's time got it?_**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or DGM...EVER**

Chapter one- Can You See Me Now?

Allen's fingers hovered over the piano, but he didn't touch them. He could feel how much the Noah inside him wanted to play but Allen held back. Allen remembered the joy he or rather the Noah felt when he played the musical instrument.

This _thing _this _Noah _wanted to take control of his body. But _this Noah _was Mana's brother, Neah. He literally felt torn, he was being pulled in so many directions, in so many ways it was a miracle he wasn't broken yet. The earl was planning something he could feel it and so could Neah. Allen went to this room, the musician's room in times that he needed to think or get away. Nobody else could access the ark.

His finger tips touched the keys and he felt Neah grow in his excitement. Then Allen just let go, he let Neah take control and his fingers flew over the keys, the familiar song was like sweet nectar to his ears. He enjoyed this moment for now, because he could feel that something big was going to happen, a turning in the holy war.

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><p>The finders were frantically rushing around; they were on orders to find Allen. He was being kept on a short leash, when they had found out about Neah. Lavi, Lenallee, and Kanda knew that he was in that room.<p>

The musician's room, they could hear the piano now, echoing around the headquarters, its melody soft, quiet but they were able to hear it. Lenallee had an urge to cover her ears when she heard the song, it was beautiful but it was filled with such sadness that she couldn't stand it sometimes. Kanda ignored it, like he did with everything, his emotions, feelings, and that _stupid _song.

Even when it wasn't playing he could swear he could hear it. Lavi on the other hand, absorbed all of it, his friend's reactions, and the melody of the song, everything that was going around him. He was like a machine, recording everything and forgetting nothing, sometimes he wished he wasn't cursed with this gift.

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><p>All three of them said to themselves they were acting like they usually did, but when they were called to Komui's office, they still hadn't said a word and the food on the tray still remained untouched.<p>

They all lined up in front of his desk as Komui finished signing off a report. He fixed his glasses and observed them. They all looked fine to him on the outside but on the inside he could see how much this was affecting them, _him, the order, all of us. _

He cleared his throat, setting some papers aside, "Innocence has been spotted in London and Akuma attacks are frequent there, so

I am assigning Miranda, Allen and you three to go retrieve it." Komui was serious they could see that and Lenallee found him over his desk doing paperwork in the middle of the night. Everybody was stressed in the order, the earl was planning something and no one knew what, plus with all the generals here, everything was stressed even greater. Komui sighed and looked at them in the eye,

"The point of this mission is not to retrieve innocence—I know it is important—but to help all of you. Allen and you three have been acting strange and Allen seems to be very unstable, he locked himself in the musician's room!"

They all glanced at each other, what Komui said was true, Allen had locked himself up and the music on the piano had been played over and over so many times, Lenallee was afraid that Allen's hands were stained with blood, along with a pool of blood on the piano keys. Head Quarters had a big depressed cloud over it and nobody could seem to get away from it.

"What time do we leave?" Lavi questioned, his voice was void and drained compared to his usual cheerful babble.

Komui took a sip from his coffee cup, rubbing his tired eyes afterwards, "Tomorrow morning, I want you guys to go tell Allen and—

The music started up again, they guessed even here you couldn't get away from it, all of them now wore upset expressions and Komui looked angry beyond belief, "—and get him off that DAMN piano, I swear if I could get in there I would break the thing into pieces!"

Kanda was itching to take out Mugen and point it at Komui's throat, _this is taking too long and he had places to be. _

Well, Kanda actually didn't have anywhere to be but the training room and since –moyashi—stopped being his sparring partner it had gotten pretty lonely—but you would have to saw him in half to actually admit that!

The other two noticed his restlessness and Lenallee quickly spoke up, "is that all nii-chan? We can go and tell Allen now."

Komui nodded, and then prayed as the three left the room.

_Please, let them survive, please don't take Allen's sanity and please keep them safe. _

_I hope at this place, they will find new friends and experiences to bring them all up. _

_**Please Review and tell me what you think! Or point out any mistakes, I'm not very good at editing.**  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2

_**HI! (I'm sorry I'm tired and I can't seem to type or think so if you see any mistakes please point them out so I can fix them, thanks!)**_

_**Disclaimer:**** How many times do I have to tell you! I don't own anything but the plot! **_

After some coaxing, they got Allen out of the room. They had told Allen of their mission and how they were supposed to be ready by tomorrow morning. Allen, the moment they had finished explaining, opened the door back to the room.

Lenallee, desperate took hold of his hand. "Why don't we go and eat some of Jerry's cooking? I'm sure he has all sorts of tasty treats for you today." Lenallee continued on, hanging on to strings, "we haven't seen each other in awhile and we haven't talked in awhile, why we don't catch up…."

They could see that Allen wasn't listening to them anymore; he only heard the sound of the music. Lenallee threw her arms around Allen, sobbing. Allen jerked out of the trance at the sudden extra weight, and looked down to see Lenallee.

_What's going on again? _

"Lenallee, are you okay? What's wrong? Don't cry…."

Lavi noted that Allen's eyes were bright again, shining with worry for Lenallee. It wouldn't last for long, Lavi and Kanda both knew that but Lenallee hung on to the hope that Allen was getting better every single time he took notice of them.

Kanda gave a 'Che' and left, he couldn't handle this, and everybody knew that they were Best friends/Rivalries, if there was one person who was affected by this more than anyone, it was Kanda.

You wouldn't see him at the training room in the mornings anymore, nor meditating in their meeting room, or reading up on books on new sword techniques.

It was rare for him to do so anymore.

It was a disaster. The Black Order now was filled with people who had problems instead of warriors.

It was a 'metal institute,' Lavi had read up on them, they were starting to pop up everywhere now. Mental patients or people that were mentally ill now were put in there to 'take care of' them.

Lavi didn't believe a word of it but that was what it seemed like, he sighed. He would go with Lenallee to the mess hall, and watch Allen eat if not at all, listen to Lenallee saying how he ate much more than last time, which was a couple weeks ago and then expect Allen to disappear back into the room.

They walked down the hall, repeating the cycle again; Kanda knew this would happen, that was why he had left earlier on.

Lavi looked at Allen, Lenallee was holding onto Allen's arm like she was holding on for dear life and Allen was reassuring her that he would not go back to the musician's room.

_Liar._

They all knew that in the end he would always wander back, like a lost soul searching for something it will never find.

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><p>In the morning they all met in Komui's office, even Allen was there; which surprised them all.<p>

They were not chattering about what the mission was or bickering or even glaring at each other. It was silent. This disturbed Komui the most, his poor little sister looked all depressed and like she was crying all night.

Kanda had bags under his eyes that suggested he hadn't slept in weeks, Lavi's hands looked worn and were littered with paper cuts; he was searching for an answer again.

Allen…he was the worst; Komui couldn't bear to look at him for more than a couple minutes.

Sometimes he looked like a walking skeleton, his cheeks were sunken, and his hands were bony, white hair that used to shine- was lying limp and almost grey on his head.

His eyes….dead.

That was all anybody ever saw, sometimes something would flicker and they could see the faint light that used to be in his eyes, but it would disappear as quickly as it came; everybody was left wondering if it was still there at all.

Komui didn't have to clear his throat to get their attention, he already had it.

"Our scientists have found a time-traveling device that lets us go into the future."

Nothing, no protests, and not even a demand of an explanation.

Komui continued on, "we need records of the future, if by the end of this era we have not defeated the Earl, then by being better prepared we can at least hope the future generation will find this useful and defeat him."

Komui reached into his pocket, taking out what looked like a little pocket watch, Lavi finally interested leaned forward. "That looks like a pocket watch made from England and only a couple years ago too."

"You're right Lavi, this is what will take you to the future, though the higher ups have no knowledge of it, if they had this would either be locked up somewhere nice and tight or used to tell their futures."

He handed the watch to Lavi, who looked surprised, and then understanding dawned on him. Allen was broken, Lenallee was depressed, Kanda was unpredictable, and he was the only one that was pieced together enough to handle this sort of thing.

Lavi nodded, closing his hand over the watch.

"Everybody ready?"

No answer.

Komui resisted the urge to sigh, "You turn the handles to move in time. Don't go too far or it won't be worth it. To get back all you have to do is to get Allen to make a gate there or turn the handles back."

An explosion sounded and shouts came from behind the door, "Komui!"

It was Russell, "Hurry, you have to do it now! Headquarters is under attack!"

That caused a reaction in all of the teens but instead; Komui took some hand-cuffs out, quickly snapping them on the teen's wrists and turning the watch.

Nobody had time to react; all Komui last saw was the shocked expressions of everyone before they disappeared. There was no time to waste, if they weren't healed, the order would fall.

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><p>The school of Hogwarts was empty, except for the headmaster's office.<p>

As Dumbledore worked on important documents that needed signed, plans that needed to be finished and opened a letter from the minister of magic, the forbidden forest stirred as four teens landed in a heap right in the middle of it.

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><p>They did not belong; the creatures of the forest knew this, so they stayed away. Even as a pair of bright blue-grey eyes filled with life once again blinked open.<p>

_**Well okay here is the next chapter not very eventful but I'm getting there. I hope you guys liked it.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay I'm tired. Sleep deprived so sorry for the short chapter but I'll make it up to you.**_

__**Disclaimer: I do not own any of it**

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><p>It was a strange feeling, like a weight lifted off his chest. Days at the order were a blur, Neah kept beckoning him to the musicians room. One day Allen had the courage to ask why it was so important to the Noah.<p>

"_Because my memories are there Allen, the ones I cherish the most but so are all the horrible ones….you can't have one without the other."_

_Allen opened his mouth but closed it as the Noah continued, "In time Allen, you will be the same but for now cherish what you have and do not let go no matter how much you want to…need to."_

_Neah pressed a finger down on one of the piano keys a high C ringing throughout the room and smiled._

_It was a strange sight to see the Noah smile, thought Allen but as he looked closer he saw tears gathering in his eyes and Allen realized…it was a pain filled smile, like a memory had pained him but he was in so much joy to relieve it again, to see it again that he didn't care how much pain he was put in. _

_Neah looked over at Allen and motioned him over, the look in his eyes back…..the one filled with broken insanity._

_Was he going to end up like that? _

_The question went unanswered as Allen sat down at the piano, ready to play the song Neah always seemed to long for. _

_What did it mean to him?_

Allen sat up and looked around, for once everything seemed so clear, so filled with life.

_What happened? _

He looked over to find Lenallee, Lavi, and Kanda all unconscious…and all of them cuffed together.

Kanda hand cuffed to Allen, Allen hand cuffed to Lavi and Lavi handcuffed to Lenallee.

_Did Komui do this? _

A faint blurred image appeared in his mind, a person shouting and snapping the cuffs on to them, explosions sounding everywhere and the feeling of being ripped apart piece by piece.

_Something really bad must have happened at the order to handcuff Lenallee to all of us._

Allen could just imagine Komui screaming at all of them for touching 'his precious Lenallee.'

Another image appeared in his mind then, one of Komui sitting at a desk exhausted and muttering to himself.

_That couldn't be him._

Another memory appeared one of Lenallee crying, burying her face in his shoulder.

_What's going on?_

This time he saw Lavi, sitting in the library turning pages at midnight, looking like he had no sleep and hands bruised and filled with paper cuts. As he listened closer he could hear him muttering, "A cure for sleep deprivation...No that wouldn't help….…Allen…..mind…lost...Lenallee…Depression…..Kanda…..resigned."

Then Lavi gave out something between a laugh and a cry, "then what does that make me?"

_Lavi? What did he mean?_

This time it was the training room, he saw Kanda going through his sword motions but his face wasn't relaxed and concentrated.

Kanda gave a frustrated cry and flung the sword, it struck into the wall, staying there and Kanda stormed out in silent rage.

_Kanda…he never loses control._

Allen looked over at his unconscious friends, what had happened to them?

_What happened to me?_

_**Okay again short chapter but please review. **  
><em>


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I do not own  
><strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Allen…..Allen….Shounen…wake up! <strong>_

Allen gasped as his eyes were forced to open, consciousness pushed upon him. Allen quickly sat up, breath coming in short gasps as if he had just woken from a nightmare.

A hand pushed him down, "calm down, Allen you're straining yourself."

Lenalee's voice came as a relief and Allen instantly calmed. He observed their surroundings, the room or infirmary had grey brick walls, many beds lined in rows along with windows in between them and lastly at the stern looking nurse at the side of his bed.

"Lenalee?"

"Yes?"

Allen cautiously looked at the nurse, she reminded him too much of their own at the black order.

"Where are Lavi and Kanda?"

Lenalee glanced around, and leaned down to whisper, "They're talking to Albus Dumbledore."

Allen gave her a confused look, "who?"

"The old man. The one who we met after we got out of the forest. After you fainted he did something called, 'magic' and you floated to the castle and into this bed. Kanda freaked out at first and threatened to mince him but Lavi held him back saying we should be rational and calm."

Allen glanced out of the corner of his eyes, seeing that the nurse had gone away and murmured, "She reminds me of the scary nurse we had at the black order."

Lenalee gave a small laugh, nodding her head in agreement.

"You should first meet McGonagall head of Gryffindor house, she's a lot scarier."

Allen laughed, "Maybe. What happened?"

She shook her head, "I'm not sure, you just collapsed screaming and passed out."

_**No, the power was too much; they were putting too much into you.**_

Allen's hands clenched in the sheets, and Lenalee nervously questioned him, "Are you okay?"

Allen forced a smile, "fine, why don't you go check on Lavi and Kanda to make sure they haven't destroyed anything."

Lenalee didn't look convinced but left, just to give Allen the space he seemed to need.

A flash of an image appeared in her mind.

"_What's wrong with Allen? Why is he acting like this?"_

_Haunting music and a painful memory, playing over and over._

Lenalee had an urge to go back, the tiny memory was confusing, where had it come from? And how did she lose it in the first place?

Instead she kept going onwards, she could talk about to Allen later, and right now she needed to make sure Kanda hadn't killed anyone.

Allen moved the sheets aside, standing up and looking around.

_Where are you?_

_**Why I am you, just look in the mirror.**_

Allen picked up the hand mirror on the bedside table, looking at it and then it fell out of his hands and onto the floor with a crash.

_That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. I'll never be a NOAH._

_**You are wrong. You already are. And with the power of the forest you will be the most powerful of all of them. Even more powerful than the Earl. **_

The voice inside him sounded exceptionally pleased at that, and Allen shuddered in disgust.

_I won't let it happen. Never. Why are you doing this?_

_**To kill the Earl.**_

Allen staggered forward, hit by a strong wave of hate, the glass from the mirror cut his feet and he hissed in pain.

_Why? _

_**Because he took what was important to me and I will take everything that is or ever will be important to him and then feel his pulsing heart crushed in my hands or shall I say yours? **_

_No, I'm not like that._

_**Oh, but are you really? Do you not feel a rush when you kill Akuma?**_

_That's different; I'm setting their souls free._

_**But if they had no souls to free, you still would kill them. Because, you my dear Allen, deep inside, love the feeling of hot, fresh blood staining your hands.**_

"_NO!" _

"What's wron—my god! Is that glass? Here, my dear, get back on that bed."

Allen sat on the bed, huddled, and obeying the nurses every order.

When she left and his feet where all bandaged up, the thoughts of blood was still on his mind and somewhere in the corner of his mind, the voice laughed.

The next morning he met the headmaster, who was still too nice to believe, although Allen couldn't question him because he used the same façade. A smile to hide all the pain.

They were shown around the castle and given rooms. They took it in stride that the castle was a magic school and that the students would show in a week.

They were allowed to stay and observe if they wanted. Albus said that it was much safer and the ministry couldn't stick their noses in here very much.

Although a ministry worker was coming to teach one of the classes, some um-budge or something like that.

Allen said that he was fine to his worried friends, hoping once more that they wouldn't see through his façade. They did not.

"Allen?"

Allen marked the book he was reading, looking up at Lenalee, "yes?"

"Do….Do you remember anything that you don't remember happening?"

The memory of Black Order being attacked resurfaced, but instead Allen shook his head, "no, why?"

Lenalee pursed her lips, "it's strange. I'm remembering things that I don't remember happening."

"Maybe it's your dreams."

She shook her head, "that's not it, Lavi and Kanda are saying the same thing. But unless we were all knocked out and lost a portion of our memories and remembering them now. But the strange thing is, we remember different things and different dates."

Allen didn't answer.

So Lenalee went back to searching for books, curious about Allen's behavior.

"Don't you think Allen is acting strange?"

Kanda che'd "Moyashi? He always acts like that."

Lavi shook his head, "no, he's hiding something. Something he doesn't want us to know. Maybe it has something to do with what happened at the forest."

Kanda didn't answer.

"Do you remember how we got here?"

Kanda gave an irritated grunt as he took out Mugen and started some Katanga's.

"No."

"What about the mission or why we were handcuffed?"

"No."

Lavi sighed, "You're no help Yu-chan."

The blade whizzed through the air and Lavi ducked. The blade embedded into the stone wall behind him.

"Don't call me that, stupid Usagi."

Lavi smiled, "Aww, Yu-chan thinks I'm cute as a bunny?"

Kanda snarled and Lavi ran laughing, Kanda following with Mugen closely behind.

Allen watched with a sad smile.

_**Too bad that they will have to die to, right Shounen? **_

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><p><em><strong>Sorry it's short, please Review!<br>**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: Do not own (ever) **_

_**Sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy it. **_

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><p>The words still rang in Allen's head as he sat at one of the large tables, watching the ongoing welcoming feast. He made sure to sit in the farthest corner, far away from everybody and having his exorcist hood up.<p>

It hid his face and hair, which Allen was glad for.

Although, Allen didn't go unnoticed, many of the students sitting only a couple seats away were whispering about him. Allen resisted the urge to just get out of here and hide. But he stayed and just silently watched the tradition of what they called 'sorting.'

Each were called up by name, put on the hat, and were announced which house they were in. They then hurried to the table, and offered congratulations from their 'housemates.' Allen himself was sitting at what he knew was called the 'Gryffindor' table after getting sorted privately.

Allen sighed as Dumbledore stood and delivered his welcoming speech. Tapping his gloved hands on the table, Allen tried searching out his other team members.

His grey eyes landed on a far table, where Lavi's bright red hair stood out among the other students. The bookman was chatting away with the other 'Ravenclaws' and seemed particularly at ease. Allen shifted uncomfortably and turned his attention to the 'Hufflepuff' table, where Lenalee was conversing with a group of girls around her. They were touching her hair and Allen could almost hear the complements they were giving her.

Allen tilted his head, looking back at the 'Slytherin' table where Kanda sat, glaring at anybody who even attempted to speak a word to him.

Allen chuckled and quickly snapped his mouth shut as Kanda's narrowed eyes landed on him. Allen swiftly returned his attention to the headmaster, who had his arms raised and said,

"Let the feast begin!"

Allen watched with a sliver of wonder as food appeared before him. This was something he was going to have to get used to.

Loading his plates with food, Allen started to scarf down as much as he could. He acquired it as an old self-preservation habit while on the run with his master.

Allen ignored the stares he was gaining and slowed down a bit so the others wouldn't worry. Allen once again wondered why he and his teammates couldn't just sit together.

Then in an instant, cold ice was traveling up his spine and Allen could feel the presence of Neah invading his mind.

_**I see that while I was gone you decided to waste your time amongst filth. **_

Allen stifled the feeling of loneliness and focused on containing Neah from taking control. Allen calmed as Neah receded a bit further into the back of his mind.

Then he nervously looked around, hoping that none of his comrades had detected his little lapse.

A malicious laugh echoed in his head and Allen resisted the urge to cover his ears.

_**You think they worry, child. While you bear this weight of pain, misery, and they are able to experience such happiness? No. You forever will be tied to me, as lonely a pair as they come. **_

Allen's hands clutched onto the table, and squeezed his eyes shut, denials running through his mind. A warm hand on his shoulder startled him and his grey eyes flew open, landing on the brunette sitting next to him.

"Are you alright?"

The brunette said, worry laced within the question. Hoping that she did not see his face, Allen nodded as he politely remarked, "Thank you, I am fine."

The almond eyes flashed with relief and the witch held out her hand, "I'm Hermione Granger, this is my fifth year at Hogwarts but I can't say I've seen you around before."

Allen cautiously held out his own hand as he replied, "I'm Allen Walker, a pleasure to meet you Miss Granger."

Hermione giggled as her hand was released, "No need for formalities Allen, you can call me Hermione."

_**A liar. She's a liar Allen, once she sees your face; she'll never approach you again. Never trust anyone but me.**_

Allen snarled mentally, _Go to Hell!_

A pang rang through his head and Allen's hands flew instantly to grasp onto his head.

_**Do not test me child, for even though I do not have a body, I still can cause great harm. **_

Then it was gone almost as soon as it came. Allen sighed, lowering his hands and started to leave the table.

Allen glanced back at the Granger girl, who was still watching him with concerned eyes but was keeping her mouth shut.

Then his gaze was snapped up by the death glares of two teens. One a red head and the other a raven head.

Allen pointedly avoided their sharp glares and gave a bow to the Granger girl, "Excuse me, but I am not feeling well. I appreciate your concern, thank you."

The witch blinked before nodding, "well, goodbye Allen."

Allen promptly turned, and escaped the burning eyes of Kanda, along with a multitude of others.


	6. Chapter 6

Loved All Your Reviews! Thank you!

_**Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN**_

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><p>Allen put as much distance between himself and the great hall as he could. Leaning back onto a grey wall, Allen breathed in deeply and tried to relax.<p>

Neah was silent in the back of his mind, but Allen knew it was not out of choice. The Noah must have run out of energy after inducing physical pain on Allen.

Allen could feel the pressure building inside him. Something wanted to be let out. Sighing raggedly, Allen wondered what this meant. Was it something that was connected to all of their lost memories?

The feeling was like being suffocated by grief.

Allen breathed out, and the feeling of being watched crept onto him. Grey eyes snapped to a man with a crow like appearance and pale skin heading towards Allen. The coal eyes didn't stray from Allen's form as he stopped only a foot away from Allen.

"Mr. Walker, I know you are not accustomed to our rules and ways but students are not allowed in the halls on their own."

Allen shuddered at the cold, almost dead tone of the man. His hands _(were covered in blood and were)_ shaking as he _(played the song over and over a)_ painful headache at the forefront of his mind as he pushed off the wall.

Then Allen was swaying and _(music echoed in his ears_) surprisingly warm hands were steading him. There was this fear bubbling inside of him, what though Allen did not know but all he knew was that he had to get away.

"Mr. Walker, Are you—"

Allen pushed the warm hands away, not seeing the shocked but enraged expression on the strange man's face.

"How dare you disrespect me!" The man's voice was barely constrained and Allen watched as fury and indignation burned in those coal eyes.

Allen took a step back, head tilting back and the hood of his coat fell back. The man's eyes instantly zoomed onto Allen's face, and Allen saw a little bit of the anger fade.

The pressure wouldn't stop though, even as Allen's shaking hands put the hood back over his face. The raven man took a step in Allen's direction, slowly, as one would a wounded animal. Allen wondered what had the man seen in his face to encourage such a reaction.

Neah was still silent but Allen could still see the (Akuma's eyes, so sad, so pained and just waiting for) memories but not memories he remembered having. Lost and locked memories they were.

Before the raven man could take another step towards him, Allen staggered back and fled. There was no pursuit from the raven man and Allen could feel his panic fade but the pressure wouldn't let up.

_(Warm hands, so warm but Allen could feel the shivering—)_

Pushing wooden doors open, Allen embraced the cool air _(listen Allen, listen very closely—)_ but didn't stop running.

_(It's important that—)_

Allen froze, at the edge of the forest. His knees collapsed beneath him as he landed onto dirt.

_(You hear me, Allen? Never forget what I told you.)_

Allen pushed the hood back, his fingers locking within silver strands of hair and pulling.

_What was he supposed to remember? What did Mana tell him? _

Tears slid down Allen's face, and he sobbed quietly as the moon rose in the sky. Hugging himself, Allen retreated to happier, more joyful memories.

_(Come here Allen, it's time to go home with Mana) _

_(Hot cocoa and laughter)_

_(Mana! Look at the stars!) _

_(Allen, you have to be strong, oh be strong my boy) _

_(Don't forget and—) _then there was a ghostly touch to Allen's face, and Allen raised his head slowly. Grey eyes met coal ones and for a second Allen thought it was the raven man but _no_—it was Neah.

Allen stayed still, shock apparent on his face as Neah's ghostly figure enveloped Allen into his arms. Allen did not feel the warmth of a body but the presence of one was still there. It was like Neah was half there and half not.

"_You're not alone Allen, you have to trust me," _Neah whispered soothingly. Allen was still frozen in place as Neah let go off him, standing and looking down at Allen. _"You have to let go sometimes, stop blocking the memories." _

Allen's head snapped up to Neah, his eyes searching for answers but only finding Neah's pained and saddened eyes.

"Neah?" Allen croaked out, as he stood up.

The outskirts of Neah's mouth lifted, giving a tiny sad smile to Allen. _"For now, child."_

Allen took a step towards the Noah, reaching his hand out as if to touch him. "Are you real?" Allen whispered. Neah shook his head, _"Do not ask the wrong questions Allen." _

Allen's hand went through Neah and Allen watched in fascination as his hand retracted from inside of the apparition.

"Neah what—" Allen cut off as he felt the pressure he had been feeling lessen.

Neah's form was fading. Allen could see it now, as the lines of his form blurred.

"_I'm so sorry. But I won't be here for a while. Remember what Mana said Allen,"_ Neah breathed out as his ghostly hand patted the top of Allen's head.

Then like a light gone out, he was gone.

Allen waved a hand through the space where Neah had occupied. It was only air.

Sighing, Allen looked up at the full moon. He wished he could only remember….

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><p>The castle was silent when Allen returned. But standing by the doors of the great hall was the three other exorcists and by the looks on their face, Allen knew he wasn't going to get out of this one easily.<p>

As soon as Lenalee saw Allen, she ran towards him with open arms. She hugged him tightly, whispering fiercely, "Don't ever—_ever_ go off on your own like that Allen."

She let go of him reluctantly, but gave him a small smile, "We were worried, you know?"

Allen didn't get to answer as Mugen appeared at his throat. "What do you have to say for yourself Moyashi?" Kanda said with a threat in his voice.

Allen didn't move as he stared into Kanda's dark eyes. They weren't like those raven man's eyes nor like Neah's eyes. They still held hope and life in them.

Allen gave Kanda a smile, "Sorry Kanda, did I worry you?"

Kanda gave a huff, "Of course not, but the Usagi wouldn't stop blathering in my ear about you dying in some sort of cruel horrible way."

The sword was removed and Allen's eyes landed on the unusually silent Lavi who was watching Allen with calculating eyes.

"Where were you Allen?" Lavi asked, and Allen couldn't help but feel that he was being interrogated.

Allen ran a hand through his hair but Lavi's eyes didn't move from his. "I had a headache, I just took a walk—"

"Where?"

Allen sighed at the intensity of the question, "Lavi, why are you doing this?"

Lavi's eyes flashed with anger, "Because _you_ don't care but _we_ do, we care what happens to you."

Lenalee was silently watching with knowing eyes while Kanda stared off into another direction—as if this didn't pertain to him. But Allen knew that he was listening. They all were.

Allen cleared his throat, "Obviously, by my appearance, I had a little emotional breakdown. _But _I am fine so no one has to worry—

And then there was a throbbing pain at his cheek, and Allen watched as Lavi held the fist that he had just punched Allen with.

"_You_," Lavi snarled, "Don't understand, do you?"

Lenalee took a hold of one of Lavi's arm, "Let's not do this right now Lavi. I think it best if everyone had some sleep before we resolved the issue."

Lavi wrenched his arm away from Lenalee, "He_ is_ the issue! Why does he think," Lavi growled, "that everything is about him!"

Then Lavi took a couple steps back, pain in his eyes, "We hurt too."

Then Lavi took off in the opposite direction. Lenalee called after him but he kept running. She took one glance back at Allen's shocked expression and said, "Don't take everything he said tonight to heart Allen, everybody is not thinking straight today."

Then she went after Lavi, leaving Allen alone with Kanda.

_Was he that selfish?_

_Did he only think about himself?_

Allen shuddered as the painful words echoed in his head _(We hurt too)_ and made a move to retreat but was stopped by the hand that grabbed his arm.

"What do you think," Kanda hissed, "you are going Moyashi?"

The fingers around Allen's arm dug into his arm painfully, but Allen didn't dare to even think about snatching his arm away from Kanda.

"I'm just going to sleep," Allen muttered with eyes cast to the ground.

Kanda pulled on Allen's arm, steering him out of the hall and down into the dungeons.

Allen stumbled behind him, barely keeping up as he was dragged. "Kanda, where are we going?"

Kanda snorted, "To bed."

Allen choked, "b-but, my room is in the towers."

Kanda pushed Allen through a portrait hole as he muttered, "I don't trust you right now to not kill yourself because of some stupid thing the Usagi said."

Allen barely noticed the common room of the Slytherins because his eyes were more focused on the door that Kanda was opening.

"Is that your r-r-room?" Allen stammered out.

Kanda did not answer as he opened the door and pushed Allen into the room. As soon as Allen's arm was released, he made to get away but realized that Kanda was standing in front of the only exit.

Allen backed himself against the cool wall, heart hammering as Kanda's sharp gaze landed on him.

"Well?" Kanda asked with his arms crossed. After a full minute of Allen just staring at Kanda with fearful eyes, Kanda pointed to the bed against the wall. "You're going to sleep there while I watch you."

_Well….that was not creepy at all. _Allen thought as he slowly inched towards the bed. The situation in itself was strange since Kanda was not the kind of person to worry about someone. Allen didn't remember a time when _(Kanda was bandaging his hands)_ he had _(a strange look on his face)_ been so _(worried about him)._

There it was again. The flashes of memories. Where were they coming from?

_(Why are you so reckless Moyashi? Kanda muttered, as he washed blood off of pale hands.) _

Allen didn't mind that Kanda's eyes didn't stray from his form as he lay down on the bed, wrapping the sheets around him.

_(Allen lay on the bed of the infirmary of the Black Order, eyes closed but awake) _

Because Allen now remembered.

_(Kanda standing over Allen, whispering, you're just like Alma…)_

And the sadness of his voice rang through Allen's head.

_(…that is why I'll protect you….forever.)_

Allen was lulled to sleep by the words of Kanda, who was one of the few that really wanted to protect him. Only the second to say those words to him.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hi! Thanks for the reviews, as always I enjoy your thoughts and criticism. Please do not be afraid to point out mistakes. Because I do make them. Sorry for the wait. Enjoy!_**

**_Disclaimer: Do not own_**

* * *

><p>Allen avoided everybody the next morning. His head was kept down throughout breakfast, classes and lunch. Every single moment, Allen waited for the voice of Neah to ring inside his head, but as the day went on, it never came.<p>

It made a feeling of foreboding well up inside his chest.

_(Cruel laughter and cold dead hands) _

Allen stifled a gasp as the memory skimmed the surface of his mind before disappearing. He never knew when they would come but they always went and Allen never could find where it had come from.

The hood stayed on and none of the Hogwarts staff made a comment on it. Allen was glad for it, maybe they had heard from Dumbledore or someone but he did not to create trouble by keeping a hood up inside. There were also a couple curious eyes on Allen, following him everywhere he went.

Allen assumed it was because of his attire and that the other exorcists were getting the same treatment. The thought of Lavi sent a pain through his heart and his mind went back to what had happened the night before.

Maybe the stress was getting to all of them. Everything was so jumbled up and nothing seemed to make sense anymore so it was logical that they would be a little high strung.

There was also the fact that they were in a world where magic existed. That must have drove Lavi crazy, to know that they were in the future, and that magic had existed even back in their time.

Lavi wasn't the only one who knew how to look up dates and compare time lines. They were still on the same earth. Just in a different time line. Maybe an alternate time line.

Lenalee on the other hand looked like she was adjusting perfectly fine to the situation. But occasionally there was a sad look in her eyes and Allen knew that she was missing Komui.

Kanda on the other hand was a mystery, unless he brought his walls down, Allen never knew what he was thinking or feeling.

A pale hand grabbed Allen's arm and he was pulled into a dark corridor before being slammed up against the wall.

Allen's eyes met sad silver blue, but the face of his abuser was anything but sad. He was sneering, and Allen wondered what could have happened to this teen to have such pain in his eyes but so much anger in his soul.

"So, this is the new Gryffindor. Why are you hiding behind that hood? You scared or are you just plain ugly?" The blonde taunted, his hand tightening on Allen's arm painfully.

Allen remained silent, watching as the two goons behind the blonde snickered.

The hallways had emptied, everybody probably already on the way to the great hall for dinner. Allen knew that he shouldn't have lingered to talk to some of the portraits.

The blonde took a hold of Allen's hood, whispering, "Let's see what you're hiding, huh?"

Allen didn't resist as the hood fell down, but he did see the reaction of the goons, the widening of their eyes and the shock on their faces.

It was the same reaction that he was used to getting. A monster they called him. A freak.

One of them cried out in shock, "It's the grim reaper!"

The other stood dumbfounded and they both stared for a second before running as if the hounds of hell were on their heels. Allen returned his eyes to the blonde's face, which had no reaction at all. The blond kind of reminded Allen of Kanda. Never showing their true face.

"You're not running, Kanda #2?" Allen whispered with a feeling of self-disgust welling up inside of him. "Why would I run?" The blonde snarled in return, "and my name is Draco Malfoy, be careful to treat me with respect!"

A pale hand encircled Allen's neck as if it was about to strangle him but Draco made no move to do it and only observed Allen's face.

Allen knew what he was looking at. The scar that traveled from the left side of his forehead to the middle of his cheek. It was demonic looking, red and unnatural. Allen slightly turned his face away, ashamed for the reason for his curse.

Draco scoffed, "_That _was what you were hiding?" Allen's eyes snapped to meet Draco's in surprise and he replied, "What do you mean?"

The blonde let go of him, taking a step back and looked at him as one would a cockroach. "I thought that your face must have been burned off or maybe you had some sort of hole in your face," Draco pointed at him, "But I find _this_."

The blonde sounded so disappointed that Allen couldn't help but chuckle. "I apologize that my face is not torn off," Allen slipped his hood back on as he added teasingly, "Your Majesty."

Draco smirked with his arms crossed, "I'm glad that you know your proper place, _pheasant_."

Allen examined the blond once more, the way he was prim and proper, and the way his clothes looked to be of the best quality. Allen concluded that Draco must come from a rich family and by looking at the blonde's eyes; he could tell it was a very _demanding_ family.

"Do you also go around bullying others, Draco?" Allen asked with calm. Draco did not look put off by the question but his eyes flashed with annoyance.

He waved his hand in a dramatic gesture, "Only those that don't respect me." But Allen read in between the lines, Draco only bullied the more fortune or if he felt like the attention from others was leaving him and being placed on another person.

_Like Harry Potter. _

Allen wondered what the history was between the two but he wanted to hear it from the mouths of Draco and Harry than by gossip.

Draco gave a scoff at Allen before walking off and not looking back. Allen watched the blonde, careful not to show too much interest in his expression before heading outside. Suddenly he didn't feel hungry anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

Turns out, wandering around the Forbidden Forest was a big no-no. Allen was given an ear-full from Lenalee about this fact _after_ Kanda found him and hauled him back to the castle.

Then Lavi showed up, and there was an awkward silence. Lavi cleared his throat, "I heard Allen was wandering around the forest?" That broke the silence as Lenalee ranted on how Allen was being irresponsible and overall a large idiot. Lavi agreed with her and they continued the conversation as the four wandered down the hall to the Great Hall. Apparently, it was only half-way through dinner time.

Allen slipped his hood back up and froze as a hand pushed it back down. Kanda's dark eyes were furious as he stared into Allen's grey ones. Confusion placed upon Allen's face, "What's wrong?"

Kanda glanced at Lenalee and Lavi, the pair was several feet away and had not noticed the lack of presence of Kanda and Allen.

Turning his attention back to Allen, Kanda's eyes glinted in the candle light as he hoarsely asked, "Why do you keep putting your hood up? Are you _ashamed_?"

Allen growled with sudden anger, pushing Kanda's hand off of his hood, "I am not _ashamed," _his tongue tied at the thought of looking for the right words before giving up and sighing, "You wouldn't understand."

"Like hell," Kanda snapped, "If they can't handle the sight of you then they'll _leave_."

There was surprise on Allen's expression at Kanda's fury—but fury for those that would dare scorn him for his looks and not Allen himself. Grey eyes softened, understanding dawning in them, Kanda truly did care, and he just had a harder time showing it than others.

"Alright, I'll leave it down…" Allen said, smiling brightly at Kanda's firm nod. They arrived at the Great Hall minutes after, Lavi and Lenalee had already taken their seats and were happily conversing with their new found friends.

Allen ignored the curious looks as he made his way to the Gryffindor table, making sure to sit as far away from everybody as possible. The whispers, where they had been barely noticeable, increased in amount and volume as Kanda took a seat right next to Allen.

Allen watched Kanda with curious eyes until Kanda gave him a glare and snapped out, "There are no _rules_ saying that you _cannot _sit at other tables."

Allen stifled a laugh and instead gave a bright smile to Kanda, whispering, "thank you." Kanda's eyes softened a bit at the smile, but he gave a huff at the thank you and resumed to gathering some soba on his plate and pouring himself some pumpkin juice.

There were still murmurs, and gasps of outrage at such an act, Slytherins glaring at Kanda like he had killed one of their own while the other houses looked on in shock and confusion. A

llen didn't understand, the hat from before—a strange unnerving object that Allen quite disliked—only sorted them into "houses" that fit their personalities, it didn't mean that they were actually not friends or separated. After the hat had sorted them, Allen had refused to go back anywhere near the thing. It had been too personal, invading his mind like that. Allen was just glad that Neah had not been in a temper at the time.

Allen ignored the lot of them, gathering heaps of food on his plate, feeling the exhaustion piling up inside of him. It was better to have the strength to fight Neah, once he appeared again. There was still worry inside Allen, what was he supposed to remember? What had Mana—Neah, been trying to tell him? S

tifling down the thoughts Allen focused on the food before him, every dish was delicious but somehow it didn't compare to Jerry's cooking. The noise level rose in the hall suddenly once more and Allen watched, grey eyes widening in surprise as Lenalee and Lavi sat across from the both of them.

Lavi gave a shrug at Allen's questionable gaze, "It was boring over there anyways," but Allen knew better, Lavi was a bookworm and would die for the knowledge but here he was, offering Allen his companionship. Lenalee gave Allen a small smile before asking, "What do you think of the classes here?"

She put a slice of cake on her plate and sighed with wonder, "Amazing, are they not?"

Allen gave a nod, he hadn't seen much of the classes, and only passed by a couple, but what he had seen made him wish that he could have been born with such a gift. "Have you found anything about the Millennium Earl, Lavi?"

The question was already out of his mouth before even having the chance to think about it. Freezing, Allen watched as Lenalee's expression became upset, Lavi was watching Allen with suspicion while Kanda had narrowed his eyes at Allen.

"Moyashi, is there something you would like to tell us?" Kanda questioned with deadly intent.

Lavi nodded while Lenalee gave Allen an inquiring look, "There's something you're not telling us…"


End file.
